Sunday mornings give me a sense peace. To know I made it through the week well and alive gives me the slightest hope I can make it through the month, year even. The sun shines through the curtains in my room as I wake up to the sound of the world’s voice. I forcely lift myself on my feet and wear a blue dress to match the expression on my face. I am happy, though never fully content. I've been misused, abused and accused by others how it is my own fault I feel this feeling of resentment. However, that is in the past and clearly another story. I am off to work, in a little bar down by the bay, I did not think my life would turn out this way. I remember that sunday night as if it were yesterday. The way he looked at me as he walked in. The way he spoke softly and respectfully. It amused me how a guy who only knows me by the way I appeared to look is already aroused. If he only knew. If he only knew the mind I have hidden for years, my creativity that has sparkled within these months, and the freedom I oh do enjoy. If he only knew my pet peeves, habits, and nonsense thoughts. Would he stay? He asks for my number in a polite way. Months later, A connection sparked instantly. Late night conversation turned into hang out sensations. nonstop calls. Romance rises. Honey moon phase then fades. What's left is our mind. My mind. I knew he would not stay. I knew my mind was greater than anything he had to say. My mind scared him away. Alone, working at the bar again another man's smile meets mine. Though I cannot smile. What was taken away was more than a man. It was a man who knew my secrets, my pet peeves, my habits, my nonsense thoughts. A man who entered inside my head read it all and left. He walks the world with another women knowing who I am. If he saw me in the streets he would say “I know that girl.” Or… You see it's been one year. A year since he left, a year since he knew me. A year since I knew myself. My secrets, habits, pet peeves all changed. My mind left when he did and another grew, one stronger and wiser. If he sees me he can no longer say “ i know that girl” because THAT girl does not exist. THAT girl is gone. THAT girl has become anew, THAT girl is free, and this time, no man can ever take that away from me.
Sunday mornings give me a sense of happiness. To know I made it through the week Happy and Free gives me the grandest faith I will forever remain content with my life.